Miracles
by minimindbender
Summary: What happened after that infamous double date? Set after the episode "Miracles."
1. Un

_A/N: So, this one is based on Miracles—the episode where Harm defends the man who claims a dead navy chaplain led him to his injured wife. This is also the episode that features Harm, Rene, Mic, and Mac out on a double date. Mic and Mac are canoodling and the look on Harm's face…and Rene sees it…_

_You might remember it being part of Once Upon a Smutty Night...well, I think it's going to get too long for that. So, here it is in a separate story. _

**Miracles**

**Chapter 1: Un**

_Mac's POV_

I squirm as Mic rubs his hand up my thigh, stopping in a most indecent spot. I hate it when he does this sort of thing in public; I've told him numerous times that it makes me uncomfortable, but he can't seem to help himself. I try to discreetly brush his hand aside and he eventually moves it, but not before pressing his fingers into me. It makes me blush with embarrassment and anger, and with a glance I can tell Harm knows what Mic did. Mic's arm goes around my shoulders and I have to will myself to relax.

It's awkward, this double date with Harm and Rene, and I wonder what possessed me to agree to it. The conversation has been stilted and more than once I've felt Harm's disapproving gaze on me. I'm sure he's even more uncomfortable than I am, watching Mic fawn over me. My fiancé is laying it on thick tonight and I rather feel like a hunk of meat that two dogs are fighting over. But then, Harm doesn't eat meat…

Okay, that was a weird thought…ugh, this evening is never going to end. The Roches have been delayed once again and we really have run out of things to talk about. I decide to ask Rene about her next project when Mic's arm around my shoulders goes lower on my back. _Here we go again…_

There's going to be another argument between us tonight, I just know it.

Actually, I've known for a while that there's going to be a fight; earlier, as Mic whispered in my ear about finally going topless for him at the beach, I glanced over at Harm while Mic nuzzled my cheek. My automatic response was to act flattered and amused by Mic, even as I wondered where Mac the Marine had gone. But the look on Harm's face…I happened to glance his way and his expression made me shiver. He clearly didn't like what he was seeing, but it was more than that. He actually looked…_jealous. _

But why? He'd made it clear in Sydney that he didn't want me that way, so what right did he have to be jealous?

_But he didn't say no, Mac…_a voice inside me chides.

_He was just trying to let me down easy, _I reply back to myself.

_Whatever you say, Sarah…_

I put the kibosh on my little inner monologue. Harm's with Rene now and I'm with Mic…and I love Mic. I do.

"Sarah? Come on, luv…" Mic's trying to get my attention, so I pull myself out of my musing.

"Yeah?" I look up and see that Rene isn't sitting with us at the moment.

"I said, we should set a date, Sarah." _This, now?_

I glance over at Harm, who raises his eyebrow at me. "Um, Mic…let's talk about that at home, okay?"

"But, Sarah…"

"_No, _Mic!" I say, more sharply than I had intended. Harm's expression remains impassive, but Mic's has that familiar anger…

_Familiar anger…_

_Oh my god…_

I've reached some sort of epiphany, although I can't quite get my brain to articulate it. I notice Harm is looking at me, obviously concerned.

Mic is about to say something more, but then his cell goes off. He pulls it from his belt and looks at it, then leans toward me. I force myself not to lean away. "I gotta take this, Sarah. It's a client." I nod, and Mic walks toward the exit of the club, leaving just me and Harm to stare at each other.

"So, um, where's Rene?" I ask when I can no longer handle Harm's eyes on me.

"She got a call from her AD. Something about a problem with today's filming."

"Oh," I say, and the awkward silence descends on us once again.

"I thought Mic was still looking for work?" Harm asks, finally breaking the silence.

"He's got a few contacts that connected him with a couple of people that wanted someone familiar with the military."

"Ah," he says. He looks down for a minute and then his eyes find mine. There's a softness about them, and it makes me blush. "Mac, are you—"

We're interrupted by the arrival of both Mic and Renee. "We need to leave," they say in tandem, then chuckle uncomfortably.

"My client needs to meet with me—we have to go now if I'm to drop you off at your place first." He wraps his fingers around my arm and tugs a little.

"Where are you meeting him?" I ask, carefully removing my arm from his grip. He gives me a location that is at about the opposite end of the city from my apartment. Meanwhile, Rene is telling Harm he has to take her to a location not all that far from Mic's destination. Harm must have heard Mic's and my conversation, for he offers a suggestion.

"How about this, Mic-you take Rene to her place since it's close to where he needs to me, and I take Mac home?" He glances between Mic and Rene. "You'd be needing a cab home anyway, Rene."

I can tell that neither Mic nor Rene really want to take him up on his offer, but they end up having to concede that this way would work so much better for everyone.

"You okay with that, Rene?" Mic asks, and Rene, with a glance toward Harm, reluctantly nods. The two gather their things, and soon Mic is leading Rene out the door.

I turn back from watching Mic and Rene leave and see that Harm is looking down at the table. He must feel my eyes on him, for he glances upward, giving me a half-smile.

"Harm, we can go if you want," I offer, but he shakes his head.

"No, Mac…I know you like these guys," he says, referring to the Roches. "We can stay." I nod, but I'm really not sure I want to sit here in awkward silence with Harm. A few minutes later, though, they announce once again that the Roches are delayed, and I tell Harm that I'd like to go. It doesn't take him long to agree; He's soon helping me on with my coat, then motioning me on ahead of him.

* * *

I can feel Harm's hand hovering over the small of my back as we weave through the crowds. Every once in a while, he actually makes contact and though it is brief, it burns me all the way to my toes. I've reacted to him like this for years, and, despite being engaged to Mic, I've continued reacting to him this way. It's embarrassing, troubling…I want to stop, but I can't, and it seems to be getting stronger. The closer I get to marrying Mic, the stronger the tug toward Harm.

And then it comes to me that the closer I get to marrying Mic, the more possessive my fiancé has gotten. This is the epiphany that I couldn't verbalize before. _Oh no…_

I'm going to have to think about this…but I'm pretty sure I know how it will end. The heavy diamond ring now on my left hand feels like a brick-a brick that won't weigh me down much longer.

A sigh escapes me as we step outside and I see my breath in the cold air. I can't help shivering and the next thing I know, Harm has settled his arm around my shoulders. "You okay, Mac?" His voice is low and soft and suddenly I'm wondering if that's how he sounds in bed. _Ha, suddenly…_this isn't the first time I've wondered how he'd sound while making love.

But this time I'm also wondering how he'd look looming above me as he lowers himself into my body.

It's that thought that causes me to stumble a bit, and Harm catches me around my waist, much like he had done as we left the Sudanese Embassy after yet another of Webb's disastrous missions. "Whoa there, Ninja Girl. Seriously, are you okay?"

As good as it feels to be held against his side, I'm embarrassed, so I pull away. "Yeah, I'm fine, Harm. I just got a little dizzy," I lie. "I'm okay now." Harm doesn't seem to want to completely let go of me, however; he still reaches to grip my hand tightly in his.

"If you're sure, Mac. Um…"

"Yes?" I ask when he doesn't respond after a few seconds. I watch him catch himself ever so slightly when his foot hits a patch of ice. I glance around and find that it is surprisingly icy out here…it's probably a lawsuit waiting to happen. Harm still hasn't answered me, so I bump him with my shoulder. "Hey, Flyboy, what's up?" His words finally come out in a rush.

"Are you pregnant?"

"_What?!" _

My focus on keeping myself upright in this icy parking lot ends with that question, and the next thing I know, my left hip is introduced to ice and asphalt. It does _not _feel good.

* * *

"I still can't believe you thought I was pregnant." I say to Harm as he hands me an ice pack. Harm blushes and smiles at me sheepishly.

"Well, you had that stomach thing last week."

"Because I caught it from little AJ when I was babysitting him, Harm. That wasn't morning sickness." I shift, trying to get the ice pack on my hip, and it causes me to yelp. "Ouch, dammit!"

Harm leans back over me. "Mac, come on, let me take a look. What if you broke something?"

"I walked on it, Harm. We got up the stairs here," I respond.

"Yeah, but Mac…I practically carried you the last few steps." He looks at me imploringly. I know he feels guilty for my fall, so I humor him. Besides, it hurts to twist and I can't get the ice pack exactly where I wanted it.

"Fine, Harm." I roll a little bit and I feel his long fingers at the waistband of my pants. He pulls them down a little, and I hear him gasp.

"Oh, Mac…" he breathes, and I turn my head to see a large purple bruise on my hip.

"Jeez…" I gasp. No wonder it hurts so much. I watch as Harm tenderly covers it with the ice pack.

"You got any ibuprofen, Mac?" I tell him to check the medicine cabinet in my bathroom, and he heads off to get it for me. He returns with three tablets and a glass of water, and I dutifully swallow them. Harm sits down beside me and pulls out his cell phone. "Should we order a pizza?" he asks, and I agree. We never got around to ordering any food at the club before. "Half veggie, half meat lover's?" I smile and nod. It'll be nice to hang out like we used to. It's at that point my cell phone dings announcing a text message and I pull it out of my purse.

"Oh, it's Mic," I say, and I see a flash of irritation go through Harm's eyes before I look back down at the text. "He's going to be busy most of the night—he's going to crash at his place." _Thank god. _I'm not ready to have the discussion I know Mic and I need to have.

Harm looks relieved as he tells me Rene won't be coming back to him either. This makes me happier than it should.

Eventually, the pizza arrives and we share it like old times. We laugh and chat and it hits me that I'm having more fun than I've had since Mic showed up at the Surface Warfare Ball. It's depressing, and Harm picks up on my sudden change of mood.

"What's wrong, Mac?" He takes my hand in his.

"Why would anything be wrong, Harm?" I ask, stalling.

"_Maaac…"_

I don't want to talk about my problems with Mic, so I bring up something else.

"Harm, why were you staring at me tonight?" His eyes widen a bit, but then he shrugs.

"I wasn't staring." _Nice try, Harm. _

"Then what would you call it?" I'm suddenly irritated with him, though I know that I'm the one who brought all of this up. We were having a pleasant time before, and I'm the one who ruined it. But I would like to hear his answer…

"Mac, I—"

"Harm, come on! Every time Mic touched me, you glared at us. Even Rene noticed. I know she did." His mouth opens to protest, but then his shoulders droop and he looks away.

"Harm?" I put my hand on his arm. "You—you have to stop it."

"Stop what, Mac? I told you, I wasn't staring." He tries to sound indignant, but he's not pulling it off.

"Harm! You need to stop acting that way, looking that way when Mic and I…I…" Harm is shaking his head and I stand up in anger, needing to get away from him. I make it only one step before the pain in my hip comes back full force, and tears come to my eyes as I cry out. I know it isn't broken; it doesn't hurt _that _bad, but stepping on it without care jolts it enough to cause stabs of agony to go through it. Harm is at my side in an instant.

"Come on, Ninja Girl. Let's get you sitting again. I'm sorry, I—I didn't mean to make you mad," he says contritely. Once I'm settled again with a new ice pack on my hip, I know we need to finish this conversation.

"Really, Harm. You have to stop. It makes me uncomfortable. It makes Mic…mad. It—"

"_What?!" _Harm explodes, and I jump. "Why would Mic get mad? Has he hurt you, Mac?" I'm a little stunned that he goes right to that; no, Mic hasn't hurt me, but he has complained to me multiple times about Harm 'horning in' on us.

"No, Harm, no…he hasn't hurt me. Why would you think that?" I'm honestly curious.

Harm mumbles something, and I have to ask him twice to repeat himself.

"I just don't like how he touches you!" he bursts out, and I can only stare at him in shock. Earlier tonight I had been annoyed by Mic's attention, but was Harm seeing something I wasn't?

"Harm, what do you mean?"

"Nothing, Mac." He waves his hand at me. "Just forget I said anything."

But I don't want to forget it. "Harm, we're engaged, of course he's going to touch me."

"But does he have to touch you like _that?!" _is his response.

"Like what, Harm?"

"Like—like he owns you."

"Oh." Embarrassment floods through me. Yes, I know Mic and I were going to have another argument about his public displays of affection tonight had he not been called away, and yes, I know those displays of affection annoyed Harm…but I didn't think it was anything more than jealousy that Harm really didn't deserve to feel. Now I know he was seeing the same thing I had been seeing lately. Mic has become possessive, to the point that I'm quite surprised he let me go with Harm tonight.

_Let me go…_

_Let me…_

That makes it sound like I need his permission to do something. His approval. I, Sarah Jane MacKenzie, independent woman and marine, have let a man control me. Oh, he hasn't forbidden me from doing anything, but it would get to that point…and I would let him…because I don't want to be alone.

I was going to tell Mic that it was over tonight, that I couldn't marry him, but in the end, would I have let him talk me out of it? Manipulate me by telling me yet again what he gave up for me? _Oh my god…_

And suddenly I'm sobbing into my hands.

I know Harm's arm has gone around me and he's trying to calm me down, but I can't hear what he's saying above my cries. This goes on for a good ten minutes before I'm cried out. Somehow, I've ended up in Harm's lap with my face buried in his neck, having soaked his skin with my tears. His hand is running up and down my back, and I gradually come aware that he's apologizing to me.

"I'm sorry, Mac. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry." I shake my head against him.

"It wasn't you, Harm," I blubber.

"Then what—"

I shake my head again. I don't really want to talk about it. "Okay, Mac," he whispers, and I just let him hold me.

Harm alternates between stroking my back and rubbing circles on it. I'm not sure why neither of us has moved; it's probably not all that appropriate for us to be sitting like this, me curled up on his lap. Hmmm, I've never actually sat on his lap before, and I rather like it. Soon, though, I have to shift positions because of my hip, and I squirm around. A few seconds later, and Harm's arms clamp around me.

"Mac, you have _got_ to stop doing that." His voice is low, rough, almost pained, and I gasp when I feel something hard pressing on the underside of my thigh. I lift my head from his shoulder.

"Harm?"

He looks away, obviously embarrassed. I put my hands on either side of his face and turn it back toward me. "Harm?" I say again. "How would you touch me?" I let my fingers tease his crooked right ear, knowing we're playing with fire but unable to stop.

"Gently," he whispers.

"Yeah?" His eyes close as I run my finger over the curve of his ear again. "Like this?" I ask, and he nods.

"Yeah. Like, um, that."

"Show me," I breathe, and his finger comes up to tentatively touch my ear. He cups my face, threading his fingers through my hair.

"What else?" He brushes his thumb across my bottom lip. "I like that," I tell him. "More, Harm?" I ask again and his other hand rubs circles on my back, dipping down low to graze the top of my buttocks. I shiver a bit and I feel his hardness grow even more against me.

"_Maaac…"_ he chokes out. "We have to stop this."

"I know," I whisper, but I find myself raising my head to brush my lips against his. He nuzzles me with his nose. "We will…just show my how else you'd touch me," I breathe into his ear and I soon feel his hand grasp the bottom edge of my blouse to tug it out of my pants. His palm is hot against the bare skin of my back and I start unbuttoning his shirt, hungering to run my hands over the muscles of his chest. Harm starts to do the same thing to my top and soon, my lacy bra is exposed to him. I maneuver myself, not without pain, to straddle his lap. My core is wet with need and he presses his growing erection against it.

His lips finally make contact with mine and soon I feel his tongue graze the entrance to my mouth and I open for him, letting him taste me while I taste him in return. I'm rubbing hard against him now and I can't tell which one of us moans in pleasure.

Harm pushes my blouse off my shoulders and then palms my breasts, teasing the nipples through the lace with his thumbs. They harden almost painfully, hardening even more when Harm dips his head to suckle them through the fabric. "Oh, _god, _Harm!" I shout, and I lose myself to him in another kiss.

"Oh, Mac, Mac…I've wanted you for so long, wanted this." His lips travel to my jaw, my neck, and his tongue circles the hollow of my throat. His hand reaches around and unclasps my bra, releasing my breasts so he can finally hold them completely in his hands. By now I've gotten his shirt all the way off and when he moves his hands, I press my chest fully into his. The intensity of this skin-on-skin contact is such that I know my panties are soaked while his cock strains against the zipper of his jeans.

"Bedroom?" Harm whispers raggedly in my ear and I nod. He stands up without moving me from his lap, and one arm goes underneath my bottom while the other goes around my back. He carries me across my apartment to lay me down on my bed, and I start to undo the buttons of my pants. He brushes my hands aside and does it for me, and then I feel them being pulled off of me with my panties. I'm now naked before him and he looks at me, awed.

"Oh, Mac…god, you're so, so beautiful." He's hovering over me now and he leans down to kiss me. I'm impatient for him to be entirely naked as well, so I cut the kiss short.

"Harm, Harm…_please!" _I beg as my hand brushes over the impossibly hard bulge in his pants. Harm rises up on his knees and unbuckles his belt. He releases the button and then slowly, ever so slowly, he lowers his zipper. He stands then and lowers his pants as his cock springs from his boxers. He's big and my core aches for its intrusion. The boxers follow his jeans and then he's hovering over me again. I cradle him in between my legs and his hand goes down in between us. I feel a finger dip into me, stroking through my wetness a couple of times before it finds its way to my entrance. He presses it into me, and hips buck up toward him as his thumb circles my clit while another finger invades me. _"Oh, god, Harm!" _I shout, and before long I'm coming around his fingers. He keeps stroking me until I finally come down from my orgasm, then pulls his fingers out. He raises his hand to his lips, and his tongue flicks out for a taste. I'm wet and ready all over again at the sight of it.

"Delicious, Sarah…" he says, and tastes me on his fingers again. His cock is huge before me, and before the night is over, I vow to taste him as well. Now, though, I want that inside me, filling me, moving in me. I can't wait any longer. I raise my hips toward him as he kneels between my legs, begging him with my eyes to enter me. He nods, and then I gasp as he strokes his penis through my slickened folds. I feel the tip of him at my entrance and he pushes it into me. Before he enters me fully, he looks down at me, the question in his eyes. _Do you really want this, Mac?_ they ask, and I nod. He goes in a little farther, and then he loses control, slamming into me almost painfully. I cry out but wrap my legs around his waist when he starts to pull away, the apology evident on his face.

"No, no, Harm…just let me…" I'm already adjusting to his length and girth and before long I'm nodding and he finally, _finally_ starts to move.

A few strokes later and I know I've never felt anything like this. He's thick inside me as I squeeze my muscles around him, and my whimpers rapidly turn into cries and then screams. I've never been much of a screamer, but with this man…soon, the pressure has built to almost unbearable levels and between his own moans he tells me to let it go, to come around him. I do and scream his name, feeling a new warmth as he empties himself inside me. We shudder together, our bodies slickened with sweat, and it takes a while before our ragged breaths slow enough to talk.

"Sarah, baby…" he chokes out, and I pull him down over me again.

"I know, Harm, I know…" We let the sweat dry on our bodies as we continue to stroke each other. He finally pulls himself from me, and his warmth spills out of me. I don't care, though. Mic and I have never been with each other like this, without a condom, and for reasons I really don't want to dwell on, I know Harm and Rene have never been with each other this way either. Harm collapses beside me, and eventually we shift so that I'm spooned against his hard body. He's pulled the blanket at the foot of my bed over us, and as I start to drift off, he whispers in my ear to ask how my injured hip is. I tell him it's fine, just fine, though I know it's going to hurt like hell in the morning after what we just put it through. His arm tightens around me then he pulls me even closer, his leg folds over me, and we fall asleep together.

* * *

"Mac! _Mac!" _I awake to Harm shaking me and calling my name. My internal clock tells me it's 0932, and I can't believe I've slept this long. I sit up, and it takes me a few seconds to realize that Harm is frantically moving around the bedroom, looking around for his belt. His pants and boxers are back on, the zipper of his jeans still down, and he looks worried.

"Harm," I say sleepily as I sit up. "What's going on?" I punctuate my words with a yawn. It ends in a gasp when my hip protests my movements.

"I gotta go, Mac." He turns and rushes out of the bedroom, leaving me bewildered.

"Harm?" I call out to him, and within seconds he's back in my room, his shirt now on but still open. He steps to the bed and leans over to capture my lips in a quick kiss, before he stands back up to button his shirt.

"I have to go, Mac," he says again. "Mic…Mic just called. He's on his way over…I heard him on the machine. He's stopping off to grab some breakfast for you two, and then he'll be here. I—I'd better get out of here." His shirt is tucked in now, and he quickly zips and buttons up his pants. The belt is buckled next, and he's ready to go seconds later. I slide out of bed, wrapping the sheet around me as I follow him out to the living room. "I'm sorry, Mac…but I shouldn't be here when he gets here."

I suppose he shouldn't, but before Harm leaves, I need some acknowledgement of what just happened here. Which brings up the question…

_What just happened here? _I look down at my feet, but before I can look back up, my door is closing behind him.

I sink to the floor and cry.

* * *

_End Chapter 1_


	2. Deux

_A/N: Here's part 2 of this "new" story..._

_Original A/N: So, here is the arduously written part 2. Not my best work, but here it is. For some reason it was hard to write; perhaps I had too many distractions with work and home. There will at least be a part 3, but if it turns into a four-parter, I'll put it in its own story. I need to work on a chapter or two of Letters to Harm next, and then some Gone—so I'm not sure when part 3 will post (it's isn't written at all yet). Then again, my muse might tell me to %^&% off and make me write it next. Who knows? _

_Anyway, thanks for all the reviews. I love 'em!_

**Miracles**

**Chapter 2: Deux**

_Mac's POV_

I give myself over to my tears for only a few minutes. I don't want Mic to find me in a sobbing mess; his idea of comforting me is rather sloppy sex and after having just experienced Harmon Rabb, I can't go back to that. The idea of it actually nauseates me.

_Stop being so mean, _I admonish myself. Mic has many great qualities, he loves me…but he's not Harm. He never has been and never will be.

I curse myself once again for being so blind and stupid, letting myself be manipulated into taking a ring I didn't want in the first place, all because Harm rejected me in Sydney. And was it really a rejection? He told me 'not yet'…I didn't ask him to clarify and now that I think about it, he probably thought I was just looking for a one-night stand, a fling, when in reality I wanted him forever.

_God, _everything is so messed up now. My tears start to fall again when I remember how wonderful it was to have Harm finally make love to me, only to have him rushing to escape the next morning. I guess I can't blame him; it would certainly not be pleasant for any of us if Mic caught us.

That's another thing that makes me cry…I cheated on my fiancé. How low does that make me? Especially when I know deep down I feel more guilty about _not _feeling guilty enough over what I've just done. I don't deserve Mic, really.

But then again…Mic really has gotten more possessive, more controlling. I know I can't live like that and even if Harm and I hadn't made love last night, I'd be ending it with Mic. I should have never gotten involved with him of course, but if that was inevitable, I should have put the brakes on things after that garden party hosted by Mic's new boss. He treated me like a trophy, and then I actually apologized to him about _my _behavior!

I need to find myself again, clearly.

I wipe the recent tears away, then decide to take a hot shower. Mic will no doubt be here soon, and it won't help anything to be here naked and cloaked in Harm's scent. I lift the edge of the sheet around me to sniff at it, my heart fluttering as I breathe in Harm's essence, realizing at the same time I should strip the entire bed where he and I first made love; there's no need to upset Mic further than I already will.

Once I've pulled the bedding away and stuffed it into the hamper, I go into my bathroom and start the shower. I honestly hate to wash away the olfactory reminder of my night; my skin still tingles, and I find myself growing wet again as I remember Harm's hands on me. Sometime during the night, I awoke to the sound of Harm moving around the room and for a moment I thought he was leaving then…

* * *

"_Harm?" I question as I roll a little to look behind me._

"_Sorry, honey…didn't mean to wake you," he answers. _So, he was just going to sneak out of here?

"_You're leaving?" I sound more troubled and desperate than I want to and it's embarrassing. Harm, however, is quick to reassure me. He quickly steps to the bed and leans over me as he brushes a strand of hair behind my ear._

"_No, baby…just had to use the bathroom," he says as he pulls down the blanket covering me. "Let's get under the covers, okay?"_

_We maneuver around and slip between the sheets, and soon we're spooned together again, Harm's warm, solid body at my back. His leg goes over my hip and his hand starts to travel over my skin. It makes me shiver though I am anything but cold. I feel his breath ruffle my hair as he chuckles softly. "How's the hip?" he asks; I know he's still feeling guilty about that. Surprisingly, it doesn't feel too bad in my current position and I tell him so. He kisses my hair in acknowledgment and I shiver again. _

_Harm's hand resumes its journey over my body, running over my breasts before stroking across my tummy. His finger traces around my navel then dips lower, teasing my curls, and then he's sliding it through my lower lips. I can't help the moan that escapes me and he slides it in deeper. _

"_You're wet again, Sarah," he whispers as he starts stroking my clit. _

"_Yeah, and you're getting hard," I whisper back, feeling his cock growing against my back. _

"_You make me hard, Sarah." His hand is doing wonderful things to my body, and I whimper as I open my legs wider to give him better access. I can't help but wriggle against him and his groan fills my ears. It's then that I reach behind me and find his cock, curling my fist around it while brushing my thumb across the tip. His hips start to move in time with my hand as it slides up and down his member. _

_We're both moaning and whimpering now, and just when I feel I'm about to come, he abruptly stops his ministrations. My hand stills on his cock while his slips from my center and starts to slide along my thigh. "I want to be inside you now, Sarah. Please?" he subtly begs. I can't think of anything I want more, so I guide his cock into me from behind. Harm's hand moves from my thigh and goes around to press against my lower belly, just above my mound. His long fingers find my clit again and soon he's thrusting against me. He moves in long, slow strokes, and it feels so good that I almost cry. _

_It doesn't take long before I'm once again screaming his name and he starts thrusting harder into me. We come together, his essence filling me once again in forceful, hot jets. I'm still whimpering when I finally come down from my high, and when he pulls out out of me, he rolls me onto my back. He covers me with his body, kissing me deeply, and it isn't all that long until we're making love again. _

_I don't think I'll ever get enough of this man. _

_Eventually we fall back to sleep, me cuddled in Harm's arms, and I don't open my eyes until he shakes me awake to tell me Mic's on his way._

* * *

The shower is finally hot enough for my liking and I climb in, letting the flow of water soothe my stiff, aching muscles. After just standing under the spray for a couple of minutes, I lather up a loofah and run it over my body, taking special care with the area between my legs. There's a delicious soreness there, and it makes me moan softly as I remember the cause of it. I close my eyes and imagine Harm is still touching me and soon my hand replaces the loofah.

It's easy to bring myself to climax; all I have to do is picture Harm's mouth at my core as I stroke myself a few times and I'm there. I bite off a cry, knowing that Mic has probably already let himself into the apartment.

I know I'm stalling now; I've washed my hair twice and then left my conditioner on for an exaggerated amount of time. Knowing I need to just get this meeting with Mic over with, I rinse my hair and then turn around to shut the water off.

That's when I feel it…

An arm goes around my waist and pulls me back. I can feel a hard body behind me as another arm reaches around to palm my breast, and, as it often happens, the fingers squeeze too hard and it hurts.

"Mic!" I yelp. I squirm and try to push away from him, but his hold tightens. I can feel his erection against my back and I want to vomit.

This isn't the first time he's hopped in the shower with me and, though I've told him I hate it when he does it, he still worms his way in a couple times a month. He tells me it 'saves water' and 'saves time,' but he really just wants sex. I've given in much of the time, and I rather hate myself for it.

Mic nuzzles my cheek and the arm around my waist dips lower.

"Let me go, Mic!" I move to keep his hand from my center.

"Aw, come on, Sarah…I missed you last night," he whines, and it irks me.

"No, Mic! Just get out!"

"Sarah—"

At that I forcefully twist in his arms and put both hands on his chest. "I said no, Mic!" I shout as I push him away. He hits the opposite end of my tub and he curses.

"_Goddammit, _Sarah, what was that for?!"

I awkwardly try to cover myself with my arms; I no longer want his eyes on me on that way. I try to stay calm, however. I just want him out of here while I dry off and get dressed, and then we can talk. I know he'll respond more to softly spoken words, so I say in a conciliatory tone, "Mic, please, just go and get dressed. We'll talk about it over breakfast, alright?"

I can tell Mic's still pissed, but at last he agrees and steps out of the shower, leaving me to slump against the wall. I know my next conversation with Mic is not going to go well, but I have to do it. Even if Harm and I hadn't done what we did, I'd have to end it. My eyes were opened last night, and I can no longer be with someone who treats me as his possession.

I make short work of getting dressed, slicking my hair back behind my ears rather than dry it to save time. I take a deep breath, then step out of the bathroom. My intent is to head to the living room and calmly discuss our breakup, but as I reach for my bedroom door, I notice something out of the corner of my eye. It's Mic, sitting at the foot of my bed, and it startles me.

"Mic?" I say, rather stupidly. I don't like the way he's looking at me; he looks angry, but I sense it is more than just irritation at what happened in the shower. "What's wrong?" My eyes are drawn to an object in his hand, and suddenly I have a sinking feeling. "Mic?"

Mic holds up the watch in his hand. It isn't his; Mic's watch is black with a thick band and digital display and this analog watch is silver, band and all, with a dark grey clockface. It's very Harm: functional, tasteful, expensive without being ostentatious.

And Mic knows damn well who it belongs to.

"What's this, Sarah?" His voice is carefully controlled but I can feel the rage and hurt rolling off him. My eyes fill with tears as I look back at him in shame.

"What _is _this, Sarah?!" he asks again, louder this time. I can only shake my head; It never occurred to me to make up a more innocent excuse for the presence of Harm's watch.

Mic shoves the watch into his pocket and stands up. He moves to loom over me, and he reaches down to grab my wrists. His grip is strong but not so strong that he's hurting me. "Are you going to tell me why I found it on your nightstand?" I stare up at him, wondering what's the best way to tell your fiancé that yes, you did cheat on him, but it's okay because you were going to breakup with him anyway.

Alright, I don't believe it's actually okay in any way, shape, or form. I love Harm, have always loved him, but before I did anything about it, I should have ended it with Mic.

"Mic, I—"

Suddenly his hands move to grip my upper arms. He gives me a shake as he rales at me. "How long has this been going on, Sarah? How long have you been fucking him behind my back?" He shakes me again. "Answer me, Sarah!"

"Mic…I haven't been…not until last night…"

"You expect me to believe that?" His fingers dig into my arms a little more; I'm sure there will be bruises there soon.

"Yes, I do, Mic. Because it's the truth." Not that it makes much of a difference; whether it was just yesterday or for the last several weeks, I was still unfaithful.

Mic snorts in derision. "Forgive me if I find that hard to believe, given your past behavior."

Now that is a slap in the face. I suppose I deserved it, but it hurts to have my past with my husband and John Farrow brought up yet again. I'll let it go, but my eyes fill again with tears. "I'm sorry, Mic, but it _is _the truth." I try to shrug out of his grasp; it's actually hurting me now, but I honestly don't think he knows what he is doing. He doesn't let go, and after a couple more tries, I finally ask him to let me go.

"Mic, please let go of me. You're hurting me." Mic stares hard at me for a moment, then looks down at his hands. I see the shock in his eyes and he abruptly lets go.

"Sarah, I'm sor—"

I cut him off. "It's okay, Mic. Look, let's just go sit down and discuss this." He nods after a moment, and together we head down the hall to the living room to sit uncomfortably across from each other. I decide I may as well start.

"Look, Mic…I didn't expect last night to happen…"

"Right," he snaps derisively.

"No, Mic. I mean it. I fell in the parking lot as we were leaving the club and he helped me up here. We talked, things happened…"

"He seduced you."

"No…" If anything, I seduced him.

"He seduced you, you fell for it…Sarah, he can't love you like I do."

"Mic…"

Mic stands up and starts pacing back and forth.

"No, Sarah. He seduced you, played on your weaknesses…look, I'm willing to forget this. Let's forget it ever happened. We can go back to planning our wedding, setting a date, I'll move in here…"

Mic sounds desperate now, and what the hell did he mean, "played upon my weaknesses?" I'm about to ask when he sits down beside me and reaches for me. He's suddenly clutches me to him and starts kissing me. "Sarah, I love you and you love me," he says between kisses. I try to push him away like I did in the shower, but once again he holds on tight. "I'm not losing you to him. He'll never love you like I do."

"Mic, stop." I push at him again while I try to move my head so he can't make contact with my lips. "Stop. Stop it!" He doesn't though, so I end up using one of the many moves I've learned as a marine. He falls from the couch and lands between it and the coffee table and I scramble away.

Mic manages to get himself off the floor, but it takes him a bit given the narrow confines of his position.

"Dammit, Sarah, what the hell is wrong with you?"

I force myself to stay calm. "I told you to stop, Mic."

"But I'm your fiancé!"

Once again, Mic pays no heed to what I've said and what I want. A marriage between us would never work, and though I'm not entirely sure where Harm and I stand, I cannot let this go on any longer. Mic needs to leave. Now.

I had taken my ring off and thrown it in the drawer of my nightstand as Harm and I climbed under the covers last night. Now I turn on my heel and return to my bedroom. Mic calls after me, but doesn't follow, thank goodness. I grab the ring and go back to the living room. Mic is standing in the middle of it, an understandable scowl on his face.

"Mic," I start. He looks down at my hand, and it's obvious he knows what I have clutched in my fist.

"Sarah, no…" he says as I open my hand and hold the ring out to him.

"Mic," I say again. "I'm sorry, but I can't marry you. I care about you a lot, but I don't love you in the way you deserve. I'm sorry," I repeat. Mic just stands there dumbly, and I can't tell if any of my words have penetrated. "Mic?"

Mic stands up to his full height. "No, Sarah, I won't accept that. I know you love me. You're just infatuated with Rabb. He doesn't love you that way, Sarah. Not the way I love you. He has Rene; he's happy with Rene. He's only using you. He's only going to hurt you. He's had years to get with you. If he cared the way I do, he'd have made his move long before this, don't you think, Sarah? He's never going to love you like that."

_Where does Mic get off? How the hell would he know what Harm feels? _

Hell, even I don't entirely know how Harm feels. What happened last night was more than just infatuation on our parts, I have no doubt, but after all these years, I can't say for certain that Harm wants to leave Rene and commit to me. Mic's statement about Harm making his move suddenly nags at me and I can't help but think he's right. Be that as it may, I'm still not planning on settling for Mic again.

"Mic, this isn't about Harm. This is about you and me and how I can't marry you." I step forward and hold out the ring again. "Please, take this, Mic." He stares at the ring for a moment then looks back up at me. He looks sad, yes, but there's more anger in his eyes than anything. I wonder for a moment if Mic would ever be abusive; a little voice inside me, a voice I've forced into silence for too long, tells my yes. I'm not afraid of Mic right now, but I feel as though I've just dodged a bullet.

Mic looks back down at the ring, then finally reaches out for it. I drop it into his hand and he shifts it to hold it up with his thumb and forefinger.

"I'm sorry, Mic," I whisper. And I am sorry. I never meant to hurt him, never meant to lead him on, but that's what I've done for months. Yes, for a while I managed to convince myself that this was what I wanted, but it never would have worked. I'm still in love with Harm, and Mic will always be a distant second. I'm feeling terribly guilty right now, as I should, but then that voice inside reminds me again that I feel more guilty about not feeling guiltier about all of this. I wonder if Mic sees that, for his face draws up in a sneer.

"Right, you're sorry. I gave up everything for you, Sarah. My home, my career…but that's okay, Sarah…because you're _sorry._ You're sorry, and I'm left with nothing. I should have gone back to Australia when I had the chance, but I thought you were worth staying for." He looks down at me in disgust. "Clearly I was wrong. You just didn't want to be alone and since Rabb didn't want you, you figured I'd do. You know what that makes you?"

Ignoring the voice that says Mic's right, I stare at him coldly. "No, what does that make me?"

Mic glares at me for a few moments. "Never mind. You know what you are." At that he turns and goes for the door. I follow behind him so I can lock the door behind him; it occurs to me that I should probably change the locks given Mic has a key and for all I know he's made duplicates. I suppose, however, that I should still ask him to return it.

Mic beats me to it, however. As he grabs his jacket, he fishes around in the pocket for something, then pulls out my key. He holds it up, but before he hands it back to me, he slips the jacket on and pulls open the door. He steps over the threshold and into the hall, then holds up my key again. "You're going to regret this, Sarah. He's never going to love you." Then, instead of just handing me the key, he throws it at me.

I'm sure I couldn't duplicate what happened next if I tried for a thousand years. Mic's aim is off, and instead of the key coming directly to me, it hits the doorframe and ricochets off. It then hits me in the face, directly into my stunned, open eye, and I feel an excruciating pain. I cry out, my hand covering my eye, and Mic's at my side in an instant, his arm wrapping around my shoulders. "Oh my god, Sarah. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—I'm sorry. Let me take a look."

I shake my head. I just want him to go. I know this was an accident, I don't blame him for it, but I just want him gone. His words have hurt and even as I tell myself that I can't blame him for that either, I can't help but think that if he really loved me, if he really knew me, he wouldn't say such things. I suppose, however, that he actually does know me, because he knows what would hurt me most.

"Mic," I say through my tears. "Just go, Mic. Go. I'm fine. Please, just leave." I shrug off his arm and he starts to protest, but then his shoulders slump and he nods. He steps away from me and then pulls open the door again. This time, he silently departs, pulling the door closed behind him.

I sink to the floor for the second time this morning, knowing I need to go check my eye, but right now it hurts too much and I just sit there and cry.

* * *

_Harm's POV_

I can't believe what I've just done. I've run out on Mac after one of the most incredible nights of my life, because I was too much of a coward to stick around and face the music.

No, that's not true, not really. At the time I just wanted to protect Mac, wanted to keep Mic from going after her because I was there, and I didn't realize my cowardice was coming from something else. On the ride home, however, I realized that above and beyond the fear of Mic discovering us in such a manner was the fear that Mac would realize she still wanted to be with Mic. It had already been destroying me, watching Mac with him, seeing the diamond in her ring sparkle cheerfully, but after a night of making love to her, I don't know how I'd survive it if she ran to Mic again.

I consider calling her to see if Mic is still there, but I'm not sure how well that would be received. What I need to do, and do it as soon as possible, is to end it with Rene. No matter what happens with Mac, I can't continue to be with Rene when I don't love her like that and never will. I'm not looking forward to this; besides the obvious, it occurs to me that I haven't been the one to end a relationship in quite a while. Both Annie and Jordan broke it off with me, and even Diane was the one who decided that we should feel free to see other people given we'd be stationed at opposite ends of the world. I wasn't a great boyfriend in any of those relationships, and it's a wonder that Rene has stayed with me this long.

God, I'm an ass.

An ass who is so in love with Sarah MacKenzie I can't see straight. I've never felt this way about anyone, and I wish I had had the courage to tell her that.

I decide then and there that once I end it with Rene, I'm going to march right back to Mac's and plead my case. Maybe she'll turn me down; god knows I wouldn't blame her given how I've acted over the years, but I have to try. I won't be able to live with myself if I don't.

I'm just about to pick up the phone to call Rene to see if we can meet when there's a knock at the door. I wonder fleetingly if it could be Mac, so without thinking, I pull open the door.

And suddenly a fist smashes into my face. I wasn't ready for it, so I stumble backwards and fall to the floor. I look up to see Mic Brumby looming over me, a look of fury and disgust on his face. He pulls something out of his pocket and throws at me. It hits me in the chest and it rather hurts.

"You forgot your watch at Sarah's, you bastard," is all he says before he turns and walks back out my door, slamming it behind him.

* * *

_End Chapter 2_


	3. Trois

_A/N: Welcome again to my unorganized posting schedule. Obviously times are weird, but I've also found that after I finish a big project, (Letters to Harm in this case) I find it hard to focus on the next "big" one—Gone. So, you might get a rotation of things before I settle in. _

_If you recall this started as a smut version of the episode "Miracles." Back when I started it I think I had a direction I wanted it to go, but damned if I remember it. So, we'll just have to see how it goes!_

**Miracles**

**Chapter 3: Trois**

_Harm's POV _

The echo of the slamming door bounces around my loft for a few seconds as I sit on my floor, stunned. I remember taking my watch off as Mac and I climbed under the covers last night, but in my hurry to get out of there before Mic showed up, I must have left it on her nightstand. I rub my jaw, tasting a bit of blood in my mouth; with my tongue I search and find the source of the bleeding. My teeth sliced open my inner lower lip, but it isn't too bad. My jaw hurts but nothing seems broken or out of place.

I've always maintained that Brumby fights like a girl.

Slowly, I rise up off the floor, intent on rinsing my mouth out and then finding some ice for my jaw, but then it hits me…

_Mac!_

Oh god, did he hurt her? I've noticed he's become more possessive of her and, though god knows I've been a jealous bastard, that possessiveness has made me more apprehensive of the Brumby/MacKenzie union. I've wanted to talk to Mac about it, but I didn't know how to bring it up without upsetting her. Now I see I should have risked it. I frantically look around for my phone, realizing with chagrin that it's still in my pocket. I pull it out and flip it open, my thumb poised over the speed dial. Suddenly, I have an image of Mac curled up on her bed, her hands over her face, and I know it isn't enough to just call her. I close the phone and shove it back in my jeans pocket, reaching for my keys as I throw on my jacket. I'm out the door and on my way to Mac's apartment in less than two minutes.

_I'm coming Mac…_

* * *

_Mac's POV_

_I'm coming Mac…_

My head whips up at the sound of Harm's voice, but with my one good eye I see that I'm still alone. I'm disappointed and relieved at the same time; relieved because I don't want him seeing me like this, disappointed because I really want to be held in his arms while he soothes away the pain. On a practical note, I know I should go to the ER for this eye but there is no way I can drive myself there at the moment. I need to call someone and Harm's probably my best bet.

After I dragged myself off the floor, I went into the bathroom to survey the damage. My eye was watering profusely—still is— and was already bloodshot. The light in there also bothered it, so much so that I had to turn it off before I could get a better look. I then stumbled to my bedroom and sat myself in the middle of my unmade bed.

Now the pain seems to be worsening, though it's a different pain than the initial blast. Every time I blink it's like sandpaper is being scraped across my eyeball.

I know I need to get up and call Harm, but right now it seems too much of an effort. I can only flop back onto the bed and curl up into a ball, covering my face with my hands as tears of pain flow profusely.

* * *

_Harm's POV_

I make it to Mac's in record time, but it's still not fast enough for me. I barely have the car parked and turned off before I'm hopping out of it and running for the door to her building. I skip the elevator in favor of the stairs, taking the steps two at a time, finally arriving at her door to knock frantically. I wait a scant few seconds before I knock again, but this time I give her a little more time to answer the door. It's to no avail, however; there's only silence on the other side. I'm more than worried now—I've moved on to frightened…I swear, if that bastard hurt her…

I dig my emergency key to Mac's apartment out of my jacket pocket and am surprised when I realize the door is already unlocked. I'm greeted by an eerie silence; I know Mac's here; I saw her car in the lot, but she doesn't answer when I call out her name. I begin searching, looking first in her kitchen, calling out her name again urgently. I then run down the hall to her bedroom, a feeling of dread settling over me like a shroud.

Her bedroom door is slightly ajar and I make myself push it open. The lights are off and the shades are drawn, but I think I can just make out a form on the bed. I flip the light switch, squinting against the new brightness, and breathe a sigh of a relief that it is, in fact, Mac there in the bed. I rush to her side and put my hand on her shoulder to shake her gently.

"Mac?" I call to her, and it cuts me to hear her whimper and curl up into a tighter ball. My heart is pounding, my pulse rushing in my ears, and I call her name one more time. It's music to my ears when I hear her moan my name and I sit down intent on gathering her in my arms. I see her eyes flutter open, but then she suddenly gasps and cries out, her hand moving to cover her left eye.

"Mac. Mac! Did he hurt you? I swear to god, I'll kill him!" I run my hands over her body, looking for other injuries, and, seeing nothing obvious, I focus again on her

"I'm here, Mac. Baby, are you alright?" I rock her a little in my arms and she snuggles into me, and for a moment I just hold her. I'm still worried for her though, so I eventually lean away from her to get another look. It's then that she yelps and buries her face in my chest.

"Turn the lights off, Harm. Please…my eye…"

I reluctantly do as she asks, then return to the bed to pull her into my arms again.

"What happened, Mac?" I ask as I stroke her back, trying to get her to relax. She's so tense in my arms and I just know Brumby was the cause of whatever happened to her eye…and I'm terribly worried that he's done other things to her too. She doesn't answer me and she certainly doesn't relax, and my mind can't stop imagining all sorts of Brumby-perpetrated abuse.

"Mac, baby, please…" I beg her to respond. "Did Mic hurt you?" I wait a moment and then she slowly nods. I'm instantly in kill mode.

"He's a dead man," I say with barely controlled fury, and she shifts in my lap.

"No, Harm…my eye…it was an accident. He threw my key at me—it bounced and hit me in the eye."

"Mac…"

"It's true, Harm."

I don't know if I entirely believe her, especially when I see what's on her arms. Gently, I run a finger over a column of bruises on her left arm. They're obviously fingerprints, and she has a matching set on the right.

"These weren't an accident, though," I say softly, and she shakes her head, tears leaking from underneath her tightly closed eyelids.

"He knows about—" She waves a hand over the bed, the bed where only hours before we made love for the first time.

_And then I just left her. To _him...

"I know, Mac…Mac, I'm sorry I left you…"

"Harm…what else could you do? It would have been worse if you'd been here."

"He wouldn't have hurt you. I wouldn't have let him."

"I know you wouldn't have…but then you two would have ended up fighting. It would have been Sydney all over again, only worse." She buries her face in my chest again and I resume stroking her back.

We're both silent for a while and then she pulls away slightly. "Harm?" she asks.

"Yeah, Mac?"

"How did you know he…how did you know to come?"

My voice heavy with regret, I tell her about Brumby showing up at my door with my watch and his fist. She gasps and leans back to assess the damage, but her eye causes more pain and she whimpers. I caught a glimpse of her injured eye; it was completely red there was a hint of swelling around her orbit.

"Mac, we should get you to the hospital and have that eye looked at, okay?"

She doesn't resist; she merely nods against my chest. There's no 'I'm a marine' protests, nor does she tell me she can take care of herself as she is wont to do, and that worries me more than anything.

* * *

_End Chapter 3_


End file.
